Lost in Translation, Menu Edition

Among the many things my sister and I share is an obsession with taking pictures of funny english translations when we travel. One of our favorites, which we took together in Japan, was of a sign pointing to the "bus porking."

Back from her trip to the Middle East, sis has added to the collection and made me proud. Please see below the dessert choices one may have in Syria after downing a delicious Crap Salad. Hot love ice cream anyone?

The Alabama Treat

When I was in high school I took the bus to school with a group of rowdy guys from my grade until we were old enough to have cars and then we drove together. These guys would tell dirty jokes, listen to hard core rap and often invite themselves over to my house after school to hang out, whether I wanted them there or not. The particularly frustrating part was that sometimes my mom would feed them, insuring they had no need to leave and more reason to come back. It sounds bad but these guys were also hilarious and fun and good guys at heart and I am happy to still call them my friends all these years later.

In particular, I am happy to have remained friends with Ken Hess (pictured above, perhaps you have seen him on Pitmasters or the Food Network's Unwrapped). Ken is a barbecue chef at Big Bob Gibson in Decatur, Alabama, an award-winning fourth-generation barbecue mecca known for their chicken and pork and the secret sauces they make to dress them. Unfortunately I do not find myself in Decatur, well ever, but I get a chance to sample their food at the annual Big Apple Barbecue Block Party where this year they had a line that stretched for nearly two city blocks. Dan and I walked along side the queue in disbelief until we reached the Big Bob Gibson tent where we spied Ken up in the rig cutting up pork shoulders with a giant knife, pork flying up in the air and for the most part landing back down on the cutting board.

"Schupak!" Ken exclaimed as he saw me and Dan wiggle through the crowd, "Come on up here." Slipping through the barricade and joining Ken up in the rig was a super thrill for this not easily impressed food enthusiast. Just like on Pitmasters, the rig had a huge rotisserie cooker which Ken and the team used to turn out more than 200 pork shoulders for each day of the event (see Ken's 5am photo above, these babies were going low and slow for the entire night). When he took one off to serve, it practically melted off the bone. He felt his way through the meat to remove large pieces of fat and gristle then using a large knife chopped at it like crazy. Once chopped, he mixed in a little vinegar based finishing sauce, then on it went to its potato roll to be topped with barbecue sauce and nestle next to a small compartment full of cole slaw.

I have heard Ken say he has converted vegetarians with his barbecue and after that sandwich I believe it. The pork was tender and flavorful and chopped to perfection with an out-of-this-world sauce, which you can buy online here. As the famous critic Goldilocks might say, it was juuust right. Indeed the sandwich ignited a uniform reaction: big smiles all around. And the cole slaw was no after thought. The cabbage was crisp and fresh and the dressing made it match well as a side to or a topping on the sandwich.

It is such a great feeling to see a friend doing what he loves, and even better to also be a beneficiary! Thank you, Ken, for a delicious meal and a great experience. Who knows, maybe next time in Decatur.

Super Delicious Ingredient Force

It is not often I get excited when something new comes from the folks at Taco Bell, but their new Super Delicious Ingredient Force campaign earns my applause. Featuring 10 taste superheroes, Taco Bell's marketing mavens have created Marvel-esque shorts where this flavor force saves people from eating really un-delicious fast food (this is where you use your imagination that the Taco Bell items it brings to the rescue are indeed the antidote). Here is the first in what their site indicates will be a series of episodes. My favorite characters are Fantastic Rice and the protector of value who wears a helmet while riding his Segway. Enjoy!

Label Me Jaded

Should you judge a book by its cover? Usually, if not often. Particularly when it comes to wine. A wine bottle with a an exceedingly silly label probably indicates something about the juice contained therein. After all, if the marketers are doing their job, a goofy wine label is appealing to a customer who is in search of a goofy wine. I don't know about you, but when selecting bottles I rarely include "goofy" among the characteristics I am looking for. In fact, I tend to like wines whose character and structure are anything but.

The LA Weekly blog recently posted a list of the top ten worst wine labels they have come across of late. Though they only judged the labels, not the corresponding wines, what do you think Plungerhead may taste like? What aromatic notes and flavor profiles does this label evoke? I feel the need to test some of these to see if my theory really holds (stay tuned for that blog post), but if the below image doesn't entice you to click through and see the rest I don't know what would. Don't miss the one for "Pinot Evil."

A Tribute to Our Urban Sanctuary

Dan and I have been looking for a new apartment which has mired me in nostalgia for our current one. But not so much for what's inside it. It's what is outside that I am really going to miss. For some time Dan and I have lived in a one bedroom which is too small for all his triathlon gear and way too small for my kitchen gear (and wish list kitchen gear), but we have endured the cramped quarters inside for the spacious quarters outside.

Over the years we have collected a group of trees and bushes who of course we named and now feel like part of the family. And in addition to planting flowers each spring, we grow herbs we really enjoy using when we cook. There is just something so satisfying about going outside and cutting some rosemary when you need it.

And of course there is the memory of all the gatherings we have had out there. Our burger showdown, our blind wine tasting, and many many other get togethers with friends and family that centered around what was coming off the grill. Even dinners we have hosted in the winter usually involved me slipping on a coat over my apron to fire up some some steaks or maybe a leg of lamb. Just thinking about losing this space, which is probably my favorite little plot of land in the city, makes me sad. I even proposed to Dan last night that we could stay in our place and when we have a baby we can add a second floor in part of the apartment in order to have a nursery-- 6 1/2 feet of height downstairs for Dan, 2 upstairs for little Dan Malkovich.

Who knows, maybe we'll find a place with some outdoor space and our outside friends can all come with us. But even if we don't, I'll always have the memory of the sounds of happy guests laughing as they eat and drink and enjoy what we have always called our urban sanctuary.

Food Humor Wednesday

I wanted so much not to laugh at this but couldn't help it. Enjoy!

Romanian Proverbs

As those who read this blog regularly know, Dan is Romanian. Over the years I have tried to acquaint myself with what this means from a cultural perspective. While I am still working on acquiring a taste for much of the cuisine, I have long been a fan of their sayings. In fact, if a nation could export sayings for profit, Romania would be oil-country rich. My personal favorite adage: "A camel is a horse designed by committee." Perhaps a good one to keep in mind as we work through our health care situation.

And when it comes to food, Romanians have so many proverbs it is a wonder they have not taken to scrawling them on tiny pieces of paper to place inside of cookies. The one which possibly best describes their culinary philosophy is, "the best vegetable is the chicken meat and the best chicken meat is the pork." Another which helps paint a picture of what you might expect to find on a Romanian menu: "We eat everything with four legs that's not a table, and everything with two wings that's not an airplane."

But what is food without wine? This saying couldn't have been put better by Bacchus himself: "Every man is entitled to a glass of wine, after that glass of wine he becomes another man, who is entitled to a glass of wine." Supposedly first stated by a professor to explain the concept of summing an infinite series, I must say I may have gotten better grades in math had my math teachers been Romanian.

Romanians also have some practical advice on drinking such as, "If two people say you're drunk, go to bed." Many other of their sayings reflect their history like, "Better an egg today than a hen tomorrow," and still others betray their openness in calling out the intellectually unfortunate. I personally like, "Don't argue with a fool, he has a rested mind." Many of my conversations with Dan's dad are punctuated by these entertaining Romanian isms but the one he has held back from me for years is perhaps the most universally relevant, "Love is blind, marriage is the cure."