"" What's She Eating Now?: Too Far, Whey Too Far

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Too Far, Whey Too Far

Dear Hipsters,

I am often amused by your creative facial hair and fashion sense which can sometimes look like a strange mash-up of Mad Men and LL Bean with a small hat on top but seriously, WHAT IS THIS? I have no issues with you invading the beverage aisle with your small batch gluten free fair trade craft beer made by employing rescue animals from the outer boroughs but this is really an absurd and unnecessary product. 

Brines are super easy and inexpensive to make yourself and they definitely should not be radioactive in color. And why just for turkeys? This makes me concerned hat they have a separate SKU for every type of poultry in development. And why is this liquid? I doubt this was on anyone's shopping agenda and am not sure who makes a heavy 1 gallon impulse purchase of whey turkey brine as they check OJ off the list. Why not sell a small packet of dry ingredients you add water to that doesn't require refrigeration, a giant in-store footprint, high distribution costs, and lots of plastic packaging? I know whey comes in powder form, all those infomercials with greased-up body builders wouldn't lie to me, though I can't say I am sure why whey is the way forward with brine in any event. I have never met the Wholefoods buyer for this category but if I had to guess she wears a wool beenie indoors in the summer and is getting her boyfriend new suspenders to add to his collection for Christmas. 

Despite my snark, I actually love supporting local food entrepreneurs. I am just not sure brine was an area begging for disruption.

Sincerely,
Grouchy McGrouchersen
WSEN Gen-X Curmudgeon-In-Chief

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