"" What's She Eating Now?: Fast Food Made Easy

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Fast Food Made Easy

Are you an engineering type craving fast food but having trouble deciding where to go? Have you ever said something like this to yourself: "I am hungry, on the east coast, have more than $3, and am high as a kite, where should I go? Damn, if only I had made a handy decision tree before I got f*&ked up." Well, fret no more my slide-rule toting friends. Eating the Road has compiled this flow chart to help you navigate even the most challenging of fast food dilemmas. Stay tuned for a graphic which determines if you will need a cardiologist, gastroenterologist, tropical disease specialist or priest after ingesting.


  1. "Would you ever eat at Arby's?" Ha!
    Though I feel Arby's gets a bum rap. Low quality food, sure, but that BBQ sauce is fly. Enough of that and it doesn't matter.

    Question: Is it really possible to get to a DQ if you're not in a car?

    Statement: Tim Hortons has invaded NYC.

    Suggested addition:

    Do you live in New Jersey? ---> Yes ----> Are you in a car/high/drunk ---> Yes ----> WaWa

    Do you live in New Jersey ---> Yes ---> Are you in a car/high/drunk ---> No ---> WaWa

  2. This is possibly the most useful, well thought out tool I've ever seen...If only it had a decision tree for NY that led to Gray's Papaya

  3. This flow chart seems to imply you can either be drunk or high, but not both. I have some friends that would adamantly dispute that.

  4. There's also the notable omission of Popeyes. That is a big oversight. I think it would fit reasonably well under:

    drunk >> on malt liquor >> live in the south >> Popeyes

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